Dear Christians, ask your imaginary friend to conjure up some new animals. Assholes with guns killed ours off!

The plow broke the soil.

The guns killed the animals.

Plus massive human overpopulation in the closet.

Maybe I should pray to your imaginary enemy, Baelzebub, he’s more caring.

I’m afraid of your evil God who tortures you forever if you don’t please his imaginary ass.